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Overcoming Codependence is a Journey of Hope,
Healing and Restoration
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Most of us don't want a label. We don't want a term to define us that seem derogatory. But in seeking answers, we become willing to look under the "rocks" of our heart and ask the question of "why?" We begin searching and seeking for answers because what we really want is healthy relationships. What we really want is internal freedom. What we really want is to know that the future can be better than the past.
If you are here to find freedom, wholeness and fresh hope - it us our true desire to join you on the journey. We have helped thousands of men and women overcome defeating behaviors, mindsets and unhealthy relationships. The program at Spirit of Life Recovery offers books, workshops and counseling resources to help you regain healthy identity and learn tools to end cycles that bring sabotage and defeat. We approach codependence by both healing emotional hurt and developing spiritual protocols that empower us to become everything God created and designed to be.
In fact, you will NEVER be asked to wear codependence as a label, but you will be able to identify its presence in order to remove it from your life and relationships.
How Do I Recognize Codependence?
On a scale of 1-5, with 1 being the least and 5 being the most, answer the following:
I have difficulty saying “no” when people ask me to do something, even when I know I should not do it.
I feel I need cover up for irresponsible people in my life because I don't want them to suffer. I'd rather "fill in and help them" than see them get consequences. It's my job to assist them.
I understand that it is my job to fix, manage and hold my family/relationship together.
I work hard to be thoughtful and nice to others and get angry when they don't respond or reciprocate my efforts.
I like to be around people that need my help. I avoid situations where I would not have a task or a "duty" to perform for others.
I worry about how I make people feel. It directly affects my own feelings.
When I get in close relationships, I change to try that please that person. I often "read" people to figure out how I should act.
I don't like being alone. I need to be around others all the time.
I am afraid of people. I need to isolate.
Being "good to myself" is equivalent to selfishness
Other people's needs always come before mine, even if it I have urgent needs and they do not
In the areas of my life where I experience approval, I often become over-involved. In the areas of failure, I detach and withdraw.
If something is not perfect I see it as a failure
I become defensive when others point out my imperfections
I often measure myself in accordance with other people. It leaves me feeling as if I'm "better" then others sometimes, and "worse" than others at other times.
I'd rather hang out with people that I perceive as "less" than myself so I can be in a role of helping, solving or fixing their problems.
I feel very inadequate when people seem to "have it all together." I tend to avoid friendships with those type of people.
Deep down inside, I don’t really like myself and don't want people to know the "real me"
I tend to blame and criticize people and circumstances for my feelings.
I have a hard time leaving relationships, even if they are unhealthy
I have a difficult time asking people for help, even when it's necessary.
I feel sometimes that if I don't do it myself, it will never get done right
I find it difficult to speak what I truly feel or ask for what I need.
I have secret sins in my life that I cannot not let others know about because it would ruin my image of being the "strong one" (i.e., alcohol, drugs, food addiction, sex, pornography, etc.)
If you have answered two or more of these with a "5", you most likely have codependence roots in your life. If you consistently scored "4's and 5's" it is also an indication of severe codependence tendencies that may require a deeper level of recovery.