Why A Codependent Program?
At New Life we see firsthand the negative results of people affected by another person's addiction or people struggling with difficult relationship dynamics. To respond to this, we developed a unique program approach to those relationship challenges. In reality, the pain of trying to function in relationships and live life under oppressive circumstances can be overwhelming. Codependents are often engaged in imbalanced relationships that are deficient in a variety of ways. They feel obligated to compensate in those relationship in the name of "love", often meeting the demands and needs of others while being unable to care for self. They do not understand that they have legitimate, God-given rights in relationships. Since their efforts seem "good" in so many ways, the codependent has a difficult time even understanding or admitting that they are in deep pain and turmoil. In truth, sometimes the codependent's emotional pain is so severe that they require as much assistance as the person with a substance addiction. Unfortunately, while the person with the substance addiction gets attention, the codependent fades in the background.
The Codependent Workshop Program at New Life Spirit Recovery is set up to give the codependent the opportunity to say "it's time I take care of me". This program is an oasis and a shelter from difficult circumstances, but more importantly, it focuses on personal emotional and spiritual healing on a long-term basis. Through an intensive workshop approach, the codependent is asked to do a fearless self-confrontation process and to press deeply into the healing principles of the Lord Jesus Christ. By establishing a Christ-centered foundation, new relationship skills can be learned that are based on a healthy form of love. This program does not encourage a person to simply become "independent" as many other approaches to codependence recovery do. Rather, it teaches a person to learn to give and receive love God's way.
Do I have to Identify as a Codependent to Enter into This Program?
Whether or not you fit the "label" of a codependent is irrelevant. We call it "codependence" because it helps to use a descriptive word to explain the manifestation of these behavior. (We aren't into labels either!) It's important to understand that the behaviors that describe "codependence" are quite common and often appear in any type of unhealthy, imbalanced relationship or family system. If you are interested getting in touch with yourself, ridding toxic beliefs and shame, embracing the person God intended you to be and learning how to function in relationships in a healthy way, you are welcome to participate.
It's confusing how many definitions are out there regarding codependence. What's your understanding of it and how do you address it?
At the core, we understand that codependence is a spiritual issue. We often attempt to fill an inner void that only God can fill through people or circumstances. This means we unknowingly place people or things in God's place. More specifically, however, we use the term codependence to describe a set of learned survival mechanisms to cope with imbalanced, dysfunctional or love-deficient relationships. These survival skills became an entire unhealthy system and approach to life. After operating in a crisis mode through compensation skills and a "rescue" mentality, we lose touch with our own identity. We no longer know how to receive, but only know how to be in a "give-based' role where we are attempting to fix, manage and overcome the problems of others. The "sickness" behind codependence lies in our efforts to change people and circumstances, believing in the process we will find happiness and wholeness.
What is Codependence Recovery? Do you use the 12-step approach?
We certainly do agree with the 12 steps by their original design. However, this program is much more intensive, dealing with core spiritual issues and the redemptive power of the Lord Jesus. The process we use incorporates the following 12 Modules:
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Facing Codependence - Identifying with the behaviors of codependence to see how it plays out in our own life
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Exposing Emotional Strongholds - Understanding how our emotions manifest, and learning what drives them
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Family Systems - Learning about God's design for the family versus the dysfunctional family system. Identifying with role breakdowns
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Love Systems - Understanding God's love versus counterfeit love. Sorting through a variety beliefs attached to our own under
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standing of "love" and applying them against the truth of God's Word to expose the faulty beliefs.
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Surrender - Seeing our need to surrender to God above anything else. Exposing dependencies other then God; dealing with the harmful root of control and trading it for a live of surrender and peace.
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Denial - Developing inventories of those issues in our life we may have never properly addressed. Being willing to completely depart from all forms of denial in order to see the truth from God's perspective.
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Shame - Exposing the reality and the harm of shame. Learning about the nature of shame, where it originates, and how it can be removed.
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Receiving Forgiveness - Understand the significance of being able to receive God's forgiveness
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Give Forgiveness - Understand the freedom we find in forgiving others
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Embracing Identity - Discover who we are at a core spiritual, emotional and practical level. This module entails gift inventories and other methods of learning about our unique calling, purpose and giftedness
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Building Boundaries - Learning the methods by which we can protect ourselves from harmful people and place
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Balance - How can we bring the recovery process in balance - where do we go next?
What is the Staff Qualification?
NLSR is proud to have a staff of trained experts in the field of Christian counseling. Robert Tucker is the Executive Director and brings vast experience in the field of Christian recovery. He holds two doctorate degrees and a handful of state certification. Stephanie Tucker developed and oversees the Codependent Workshop Program. She wrote the workbook that coincides with the program which will be available in bookstores nationwide in 2010. She has in depth clinical experience in the area of codependence as well as state certification and ministry degrees. All staff has a specialty certification in the area of Christian Codependence treatment along with training as state-certified counselors. Most of our counselors also hold bible-based degrees in Christian Counseling.
Program Contents:
Assessment
The assessment is the first thing we must do in order to understand how to best help you. It occurs after a variety of paperwork and a personal life story has been written (we don't want to waste precious time in the counseling room asking you to fill out paperwork - so we ask that you fill out that paperwork ahead of time and provide you everything you need prior to your first session!).
The goal of the assessment is for the counselor to understand, identify and provide a treatment plan within your chosen timeframe that sets specific goals relevant to your particular needs and circumstances. On occasion, the counselor may find additional outside services that are necessary and will coordinate with you accordingly.
Crisis Intervention
While it may not be the case for everyone, often, the person suffering from codependence is attempting to balance a relationship that is imbalanced physically, financially, emotionally or spiritually. By the time a person seeks help, this relationship is often so painful and consuming, that specific resources and homework assignments need to be offered to address it immediately. However, at the same time, once that situation can be stabilized, we believe it is absolutely important for the codependent to take the time to assess and understand their own emotional pain and issues that led up to the current circumstances.
Individual Counseling Sessions
Our private counseling sessions offer you the opportunity to work through unique needs and challenges you face both in your current circumstances and throughout your lifetime. With your counselor, you'll also look at overall patterns and events from childhood through adulthood. The goal of counseling isn't just to deal with the current situations, but to also identify and understand driving roots. The goal of treatment is to deal with any trauma, emotional difficulties or other life events that have not yet been fully addressed
Workbook material
The program at New Life Spirit Recovery is based on the "Christian Codependence Recovery Workbook: from Surviving to Significance" by Stephanie Tucker. This book is a 12-module approach to understanding and properly dealing with codependence.
Codependent Workshops
Each workshop is based specifically on the "The Christian Codependence Recovery Workbook: From Surviving to Significance". These workshops include a teaching on a specific chapter in the workbook each week. The class then breaks into small group discussions. It's a safe place both to learn and process through a variety of issues pertaining to codependence.
Workshops are held on Tuesdays from 3:30 pm to 5:30 pm at our office location in Huntington Beach, CA. Times and location are subject to change.
Does Homework Matter?
Yes, yes and more yes! We don't believe homework assignments are a minor thing, we believe that through written homework, most breakthroughs will transpire. It gives you the opportunity to connect personally with those thoughts, feelings and behaviors that need to be dealt with.
More questions? Don't hesitate to ask. We are here to answer your questions or concerns. Please consult with an admission coordinator to learn more.
What the costs?
We have 4-week, 8-week and 12-week options that include weekly counseling sessions, workshops and classes/groups depending on availability. If you require a more intensive program, you can have as many counseling sessions as are necessary per week for an additional fee.
Costs are dependent on the level of intensity. New Life has worked very hard to keep these costs as affordable as possible. We encourage you to compare our treatment program with others to help you make appropriate comparisons.
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4-week option, including assessment, 3 counseling sessions, groups, classes, workshop, etc - $495
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8-week option, including assessment and 7 counseling sessions, groups, classes, workshop, etc - $995
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12 -week option, including assessment and 11 counseling session, groups, classes, workshop, etc - $1,395
(Please note: you can spread counseling sessions out however you decide. Groups, classes and workshops are available depending on your availability. Workbook materials are included (codependence and spiritual).
